In weekend, Me and my family planning to go out for culinary adventure, and we decide to eat in a Japanese restaurant. After eating, when we almost back at home, I see in the corner of the street, there a small fried rice restaurant that always crowded with customers.
My dad looks that restaurant and said:
Dad: what the crowd? what are they selling?
Big brother: Oh, that restaurant, they sell fried rice I have been there before.
My intuitive of being culinary adventurer comes rises, So I immediately ask:
Me: is the food that good?
Brother: No, it’s average. He answers it with a straight face.
Dad: Then why it’s crowded?
My brother answered with his best guess, he talks about the place and customer service. and my father nodded slowly and said:
Dad: hmmm.. then how about Mr’s Puji restaurant? Her restaurant has a similarity and the fried rice is really good, right? So why this restaurant can be this crowded?
And that moment my brother lost a word, with a face full of question, he said:
Brother: yeah, why is that?
Then that restaurant has a ton of luck, Said my father with a grin on his face.
My dad and my brother are laughing, but not me:
I think that a ridiculous answer.
luck? can make a success? I have refused this answer with all my heart.
So with confidence, I said: no way, there must be something that we don’t understand.
Then my father gives up (to avoid unnecessary debate) and say:
Dad: well. maybe you’re right.
Then we talk about other conversation.
But that little conversation about luck. Makes me questioning myself…
Is the luck matters to success?
Opinion people about luck on success.
As we know believing or not on luck is a personal thing, So I try to gather the opinion of other people.
And I found an interesting result:
According to the debate.org, 54% believe that successful people are just lucky and others 46% didn’t believe that.
To understand the mind of people that believe in luck and people that don’t, I narrow it to two important points to focus on.
How they see luck.
Their perspective on successful people on luck.
From reading comment and survey that I found online, I understand a bit better about how their perspective work:
The common perspective of people that believe in luck:
How they see good and bad luck:
They see a good luck as a great mysterious event, a good event that can’t be solved or explained. So they call it luck or fortune, like meeting the love ones or success on the first try in business.
They see a bad luck is an uncontrollable negative event, like where you are born, not talented, negative parents and etc.
Their perspective on successful people:
Luck + Hard work = Success. I have a bit surprised about this answer. They actually believe in hard work. But, they really believe that luck has a huge role in success.
So they think that you need hard work to success but without enough luck, you can’t ever be successful.
The most common reason that they can think luck is matter to success is, they know many hardworking people that not success and people that have rich or famous parent can be successful with less work.
Also, they think the environment we are born has determined our success. If you born in a negative environment, like if you are born in the middle of war or in the country that has no opportunity, they think is almost impossible to be successful.
In conclusion, they think people cannot be successful without a luck.
The common perspective of people that not believe in luck:
Their definition of luck:
Luck is a just good event that happens to us and a bad luck is a bad event that happens to us.
Their perspective on successful people in luck:
They think successful people can succeed because they work hard. They believe whatever the environment and whatever family if you work hard then you will be successful, They believe 100% in hard work. They believe if they work hard enough there will be good event will happen to them. Hardwork=success.
So which this two was true?
Well luck, destiny, and god is very vague and complex stuff. So it matters of personal belief.
For me, both perspectives are right but not completely right. My Perspective kinda mixed. but I think it’s the truth.
My truth about luck.
If you ask me “are you believe in luck? and why?”
I will say “no, I don’t believe it” and this is my why:
My definition of luck:
Luck is simply a positive unexpected event and bad luck is an unexpected negative event.
bad luck and good luck is about unexpected because when you expected something, you have already understood why a negative or positive event happens. So if you have expected the positive event will come, are you consider that a good luck?
My perspective about successful people, lucky people, and unsuccessful people:
I think Successful people can be successful because they know and do what is work. And they have a capability to do what is work.
So because they know, do and have the capability to do what is work, They can make the result over and over again.
A slightly different from successful people. Lucky people is a person who does and has the capability to do what is work. but they do not acknowledge what is work or in other words, they don’t know what makes them succeed.
Because they don’t know a strategy or certain action that make them succeed, they cannot repeat the same result over and over again.
And the last, Unsuccessful people is someone that not do what is work or not capable to do what is work.
Even they know what is work they can’t be successful without doing what is work and have the capability to do what is work.
So how this perspective can help you, more than those two common perspectives?
This perspective can help you to:
1.Make you unable to use luck as excuses.
You can’t make excuse anymore because is break the belief of common people that luck takes a huge role in success.
If you’re born with a negative environment (an environment that not work) you can move to another environment that works and if you have already work hard but not successful, it’s not you unlucky but you just do something that not work or you not have the capability to do that yet.
I know, if you’re born in a rich family, it’s easier become successful because your parent knowing what is work, So they can train you to do what is work and prevent you to do what is not work.
but of course you don’t need a rich parent to become successful, There are alternative like do trial and error to know what is work or a mentor to tell and train you to do what is work.
I know it’s harder but whatever your situation, you can be successful as they who have rich parents.
When you have a massive failure you will not have self-doubt because you understand that you do not fail because you’re unlucky or not talented but you fail because you just do what is not work or not have a capability to do it.
So you understand is it’s just a process to find what is work and find out that you have already the capability or not.
3.You can determine where are you in and solve the problem.
When you fail you can ask questions. “are this fails because of I do what not work or I not have the capability to do it?”
if the answer is you do what not work, find what is not work then ask yourself the opposite of what is not work. So if you fail because the wrong time, then ask yourself what the right time? Search it and discover the solutions.
If the problem is not having the capability, ask yourself what the skill that I need to make the (what is work)?
This 2 kind of questions makes you more clear in what the problem is, Then you can focus to find the right solutions.
So is the luck matters to success?
For me it’s absolutely not, I think whatever your situation and condition, if you do, know and have the capability to do what is work, you can be successful. And no humans cannot be successful in life because only humans that have the ability to improve and choose.
So whatever your perspective, choose what benefit you most, it is about mindset. despite is actually true or not. If it makes you closer to your dream, use it.
Question of the day
Are you believe in luck? What your truth about luck?
What the best place to improve? Positive environment. That’s how we’re gonna to be – a Positive human being. Critical is okay, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, because the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for the comment!
On my early time, as a content creator I have created tons of bad contents, So I think, if I am better over time I will not ever again produce a bad content. So over a year, I try to learn and practice more harder.
And after a year, I feel that my skill was improved but still… I produce a lot of bad content, a content that I am not satisfied with.
That time I feel like I was destined to only create a bad content, everything I create will be ugly and uninteractive. That makes me believe that I am not good enough and not talented become a content creator.
But in one day, I realize the truth. The truth that makes me believe that I can make a god-tier content as well. The truth that gives me hopes to create again.
And the truth is:
A god-tier craft it’s involved massive failure (bad content)
You may have those face reactions and you can’t wait to throw me with a Stone of Dishonored… Again.
But that the truth.
THE TRUTH BEHIND GOD-TIER CRAFT
maybe you are now wondering what makes me believe that truth?
I realize that truth because I read the process of making of my favorite 3d animations company “PIXAR” and my favorite game “The Last of Us”.
The lesson from Pixar:
When I know their process of writing, I speechless. To create “Toy Story”, it takes about 3 years to write and hone and even they make 20-25 different passes in story reels just for the Yeti’s Cave scene in “Monsters, Inc”.
3 word that I can say:
“Oh My God”.
After astonished about the process, I astonished again, by awesome advice from the writer of toy story.
He said this:
“The right story can take a long time to come together and find its voice. While technology helps the process to get done quicker, the focus is on figuring out what works best”.
Knowing how Pixar work makes me realize that a god-tier craft is not born in one making. It’s was born from a massive edit and remaking until the craft can achieve their full potential.
The lesson from last of us:
Not really different from Pixar, the writing of last of us take a long time to develop. The writer, Neil Druckman have created the core story of last of us in 2004.
A few years later, the story ideas of last of us have honed but get rejected because the ideas are misogynistic. Around 2010, the ideas have done but failed again because of the bad pacing and character development. But that not enough to make Neil give up. even this failure is a positive thing for him.
For Neil Druckman failure is positive things, he says:
“The idea is to fail as much as you can early of because all of these failures lead you to better answers.
And finally after so much failure the game has finished and been the game of the years in 2013 from over than 200 game reviewer.
Yes, The”last of us” a game that winning over 200 games of the year award, has been praised by million people for the great story and character development. And one of the games that can make me play 8 hours a day and finish it in just two days.. 3 Times!
This masterpiece has been rejected and claimed to be a bad idea in the process of development.
So, don’t be afraid if your craft is crappy And don’t ever make an assumption that you never be good at creating. Because massive failure is the process to create something good.
“make your mistakes early and fast, so you can get them out of the way. Refine your efforts until you get to the good stuff. “Genius” looks effortless only because there are 100,000 bad drawings (so-called failures) already behind you” -Chuck Jones
A god tier craft is involved massive failure and edit. This truth is seemed stupid, but many creators didn’t realize it or didn’t believe it.
In past, I didn’t understand this truth. I suffer about the process of creating, I expect my craft will be great at the beginning.
So my advice is don’t ever expect anything in your first creating and when you have so much failure that you can’t handle, Remind yourself that every failed craft will help you to found a better answer.
Share this to your friend that need to know about this truth.
Related recommended content to read: Break The Wall: How to Never have an Art Block
What the best place to create? Positive environment. That’s how we’re gonna to be – a Positive human being. Critical is okay, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, because the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for you for comment!
did you feel cannot understand what your partner think? When we really sure we doing right but our partner mad and when that happens we usually feel not loved or we feel that we are the source of their problem. So what if I tell you, that we just misunderstand our partner.
In a relationship, the difference in how we think and we feel can make misunderstanding and some of them can make us hate each other. Also, those differences are unavoidable. Almost 90% argument and fight caused by misunderstanding.
So in order to not got misunderstanding our partner, we have to know the difference between man and woman. also, their different personality. So let’s discuss the difference between man and women first
The difference between man and women
Between man and woman, there a big difference about the way they thinking and feeling. Unfortunately, many people don’t understand those differences. As a result, they are feeling unhappy in relationship. Usually, in unhappy relationship, women tend feel not being loved and not understand by the man and man tend to feel that they are the source of her problem and feel not trusted anymore. Are you familiar with this uncomfortable feeling? if you do, you need to know the difference between man and women:
1. They have different interests.
Man tends to be attracted to skill, power, and achievement. The most important for a man is his ability to achieve results or goals. They like the things that can accentuate their abilities. In another side, Woman tends to be attracted to love, communication and relationship. The most important for a woman is her feelings and the quality of her relationship. They like to share and connect with people.
2. They have different instinctive.
Man have instinctive to offering solutions. In another side, a woman has instinctive to fixing. They care about other people, they show their care and love by giving advice.
3. They have a different way to relieve stress.
Woman relieve her stress with sharing her problem with other people. In another side, a man relieves his stress with doing something he loves, ALONE.
So how this knowledge can help you? To know that, I give an example of common misunderstanding caused by the difference between man and women.
The common misunderstanding between man and women
If you know the difference between man and women, you can overcome:
1. Misunderstanding about their needs.
Many couples have a misunderstanding about their partner needs. For example: women think a man needs advice when he troubled but not at all. A man proud if they can solve their problem alone so.. they hate advice. Remember what important for man is his ability to achieve goals. If you offer them an advice it’s will hurt them, they feel you not trust them and make his feeling that he is the source of problem.
In another side, man thinks women need a solution when she stresses out but that a mistake. A woman needs to be heard and they want a man to understand her feeling, not a solution. If you give them a solution, she will think her partner did not understand her or even not love her.
So to prevent world war III, A woman have to learn to not give an advice, if he is not asked for it and for man learn to listen, understand her feeling and hold yourself to not give solutions, if she is not asked for it.
2. The misunderstanding about how they can relieve stress.
Remember that woman relieve her stress with sharing his problem and a man relieve his stress with doing something his love alone.
Many women have misunderstood that man will get better if he shares his problem when he stresses out. But it’s will make the situation worse, man needs time alone when he stresses. he needs time to be alone to overcome his problem or calm himself down.
In another side, man has a misunderstanding that women will be better if they give them time alone when she mad. but a woman needs someone to hear them and understand their feeling, it makes her better. If he leaves her alone when she stress out, she will feel not loved.
The 4 main personalities
Like man and women have different needs, every personality has different needs too that need to be fulfilled. But first, lets we know about 4 main personalities:
1. Sanguine. Since childhood, sanguine is cheerful and always be passionate in anything. They talkative and many people like them. Usually, sanguine has a lot of friends. The main goals in their life are having fun
2. Melancholy. Since childhood, melancholic is sensitive. They also diligent and always doing homework on time. They feel sad when things do not go as they expected. The main goals in their life are perfection.
3. Choleric. Since childhood, choleric is assertive and like to lead something. They always confident. in school, They like to be a leader in some activities. Their main goals in life are taking control.
4. Phlegmatic. Since childhood. phlegmatic is quiet and passive. Their mother proud of them because they are a sweet child and never bothered anyone. Their main goals in life are peace
If you still don’t know your personality and your partner I recommended you to take a personality test. And if you already know yours and your partner personality, we will discuss main need that every personality need to be fulfilled
The main needs of each personality
In every personality have a different main need. Unfortunately, Many people think their needs and their partner needs are same. As a result, many people unhappy with their relationship because their partner does not fulfill their needs and if our main need not being fulfilled we will find someone or something that can fulfill our need or force our partner to fulfill our needs that lead to bloody war. So before we found a dead body, Here the main needs that must be fulfilled:
1. Sanguine: Their main needs is attention and approval. Sanguine need to know that their existence is accepted by the people around him. They really like a praise and the critics are their weakness. Sanguine will lose motivation when they heard criticism. With praise and encouragement, they feel loved.
Everyone likes attention and approval but for sanguine, attention and approval is emotional needs
2. Melancholic: Their main needs is regularity and sensitivity. Melancholic is a perfectionist who likes regularity. Also, they have a deep need to be understood and they expect other people to be sensitive to their feelings and sympathized with them. “They should know” are the words that often spoken by melancholic.
We all appreciate the regularity and expect sensitivity but for melancholic regularity and sensitivity is emotional needs.
3. Choleric: Their main need is achievement and awards. Choleric is a person that really like an award. They Usually a workaholic because of they want an award for praise or recognition. When choleric not get praise or gratitude for what he did, they often say “AFTER ALL I DID For THEM …!!!”.
We all want to be recognize and like being praised but for choleric it,s emotional needs.
4. Phlegmatic: Their main need is respect and feels peace. Although phlegmatic is patient and not demanding but phlegmatic really like to be respected. Also, phlegmatic will stress if their environment is a lot of conflicts. So the feel peace is something that phlegmatic need.
We all want to be respected and feel peace/safe but for phlegmatic is an emotional need.
The question of the day:
is this article help? And what your most important need in order to feel happy or fulfilled?
This video below will give you tips of morning routines for smoker and this video has been effective to help smoker stop smoking, So check this out (it’s just 30 second)
I know what are you thinking now, maybe you say “WHAT A USEFULL TIPS!!! and thank you for waste my time”.
But seriouslly it’s can be “You”
Smoking is one of kiling machine in our society. or even worse, if you not stop smoking you can be like this:
I know Quitting smoking is hard. Nicotine is a highly addictive substance that can make you start to crave another cigarette. But don’t lose to nicotine. Your health is worth to do the hard work
So here 5 tips for quitting smoking:
Remember your motivations. When your mind telling you to smoke, remember your motivation, what for you doing this? Is because of your health or your family? Because the girl you like doesn’t like smokers? Or you don’t want to have a hole in your throat. Have a very good reason for quitting. List and Print them out. Put it on a wall. And remind yourself that reasons every day.
Replace a smoking habit with positive habits. When you usually smoking? Is after eat or in the evening, you can use that time to develop positive habitss. Running , self-massage or meditate is positive habits that you can try and it’s will keep you busy for quiting.
Prepare yourself in the first week and second week. In first week of stop smoking is the hardest part because nicotine withdrawal may peak around this time. You might experience some physical and emotional symptoms during withdrawal like cramps and depressions. If you can pass the first week, it’s will easier in second-week and the rest week is mostly your mental.
Reward yourself. if you can pass the first week, reward yourself. This can motivate you to fight in the second week and keep reward yourself after the second week, a month and a half years. make sure is a good reward. you deserve it.
Think positive. Tell yourself that you can do it, and you will. Tell yourself that you can’t do it, and you definitely won’t. When things get rough, just think positive! You CAN make it through first Week. And you can.
The Benefit for Quit Smoking
here what will happen if you stop smoking:
24 hours after you quits. According to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute. Just one full day after quitting smoking, your risk for coronary artery disease will already begin to reduce.
1 month after you quits. After one month without cigarettes, the cilia inside your lungs will begin to repair. Once the cilia are able to do their job efficiently, they can fight off infection and clear the lungs more easily.
1 years after you quits. After a year without smoking, your risk for heart disease is lowered to half that of a smoker’s.
10 years after you quits. It may take 10 years, but if you quit, your risk of dying from lung cancer will drop to half that of a smoker’s.
15 years after you quits. finally, your risk for heart disease will be at the same level as that of a nonsmoker.