did you feel cannot understand what your partner think? When we really sure we doing right but our partner mad and when that happens we usually feel not loved or we feel that we are the source of their problem. So what if I tell you, that we just misunderstand our partner.
In a relationship, the difference in how we think and we feel can make misunderstanding and some of them can make us hate each other. Also, those differences are unavoidable. Almost 90% argument and fight caused by misunderstanding.
So in order to not got misunderstanding our partner, we have to know the difference between man and woman. also, their different personality. So let’s discuss the difference between man and women first
The difference between man and women
Between man and woman, there a big difference about the way they thinking and feeling. Unfortunately, many people don’t understand those differences. As a result, they are feeling unhappy in relationship. Usually, in unhappy relationship, women tend feel not being loved and not understand by the man and man tend to feel that they are the source of her problem and feel not trusted anymore. Are you familiar with this uncomfortable feeling? if you do, you need to know the difference between man and women:
1. They have different interests.
Man tends to be attracted to skill, power, and achievement. The most important for a man is his ability to achieve results or goals. They like the things that can accentuate their abilities. In another side, Woman tends to be attracted to love, communication and relationship. The most important for a woman is her feelings and the quality of her relationship. They like to share and connect with people.
2. They have different instinctive.
Man have instinctive to offering solutions. In another side, a woman has instinctive to fixing. They care about other people, they show their care and love by giving advice.
3. They have a different way to relieve stress.
Woman relieve her stress with sharing her problem with other people. In another side, a man relieves his stress with doing something he loves, ALONE.
So how this knowledge can help you? To know that, I give an example of common misunderstanding caused by the difference between man and women.
The common misunderstanding between man and women
If you know the difference between man and women, you can overcome:
1. Misunderstanding about their needs.
Many couples have a misunderstanding about their partner needs. For example: women think a man needs advice when he troubled but not at all. A man proud if they can solve their problem alone so.. they hate advice. Remember what important for man is his ability to achieve goals. If you offer them an advice it’s will hurt them, they feel you not trust them and make his feeling that he is the source of problem.
In another side, man thinks women need a solution when she stresses out but that a mistake. A woman needs to be heard and they want a man to understand her feeling, not a solution. If you give them a solution, she will think her partner did not understand her or even not love her.
So to prevent world war III, A woman have to learn to not give an advice, if he is not asked for it and for man learn to listen, understand her feeling and hold yourself to not give solutions, if she is not asked for it.
2. The misunderstanding about how they can relieve stress.
Remember that woman relieve her stress with sharing his problem and a man relieve his stress with doing something his love alone.
Many women have misunderstood that man will get better if he shares his problem when he stresses out. But it’s will make the situation worse, man needs time alone when he stresses. he needs time to be alone to overcome his problem or calm himself down.
In another side, man has a misunderstanding that women will be better if they give them time alone when she mad. but a woman needs someone to hear them and understand their feeling, it makes her better. If he leaves her alone when she stress out, she will feel not loved.
The 4 main personalities
Like man and women have different needs, every personality has different needs too that need to be fulfilled. But first, lets we know about 4 main personalities:
1. Sanguine. Since childhood, sanguine is cheerful and always be passionate in anything. They talkative and many people like them. Usually, sanguine has a lot of friends. The main goals in their life are having fun
2. Melancholy. Since childhood, melancholic is sensitive. They also diligent and always doing homework on time. They feel sad when things do not go as they expected. The main goals in their life are perfection.
3. Choleric. Since childhood, choleric is assertive and like to lead something. They always confident. in school, They like to be a leader in some activities. Their main goals in life are taking control.
4. Phlegmatic. Since childhood. phlegmatic is quiet and passive. Their mother proud of them because they are a sweet child and never bothered anyone. Their main goals in life are peace
If you still don’t know your personality and your partner I recommended you to take a personality test. And if you already know yours and your partner personality, we will discuss main need that every personality need to be fulfilled
The main needs of each personality
In every personality have a different main need. Unfortunately, Many people think their needs and their partner needs are same. As a result, many people unhappy with their relationship because their partner does not fulfill their needs and if our main need not being fulfilled we will find someone or something that can fulfill our need or force our partner to fulfill our needs that lead to bloody war. So before we found a dead body, Here the main needs that must be fulfilled:
1. Sanguine: Their main needs is attention and approval. Sanguine need to know that their existence is accepted by the people around him. They really like a praise and the critics are their weakness. Sanguine will lose motivation when they heard criticism. With praise and encouragement, they feel loved.
Everyone likes attention and approval but for sanguine, attention and approval is emotional needs
2. Melancholic: Their main needs is regularity and sensitivity. Melancholic is a perfectionist who likes regularity. Also, they have a deep need to be understood and they expect other people to be sensitive to their feelings and sympathized with them. “They should know” are the words that often spoken by melancholic.
We all appreciate the regularity and expect sensitivity but for melancholic regularity and sensitivity is emotional needs.
3. Choleric: Their main need is achievement and awards. Choleric is a person that really like an award. They Usually a workaholic because of they want an award for praise or recognition. When choleric not get praise or gratitude for what he did, they often say “AFTER ALL I DID For THEM …!!!”.
We all want to be recognize and like being praised but for choleric it,s emotional needs.
4. Phlegmatic: Their main need is respect and feels peace. Although phlegmatic is patient and not demanding but phlegmatic really like to be respected. Also, phlegmatic will stress if their environment is a lot of conflicts. So the feel peace is something that phlegmatic need.
We all want to be respected and feel peace/safe but for phlegmatic is an emotional need.
The question of the day:
is this article help? And what your most important need in order to feel happy or fulfilled?